I was reading an article by a book blogger who was describing her reading style. She confessed to being a veracious reader in the sense that she was always reading. But she went on to confess that she rarely finished a book. She would start many, get involved, perhaps even like her current read but then would be distracted to start another book. I found this a fascinating read which made me think “What kind of reader is out there?”. Here’s some suggestions:
The Angry Reader. Hmmm got your back up already? You like to read but you devour your material in a different way. You’re loving it nearly as much as you’re hating it, and maybe then so even as you complain the author can’t put two sentences together properly or that the book is dragging hopelessly in the middle and what kind of plot twist is that, even? Crikey, when am I getting any action?? These characters are so poorly drawn it might even be comical! You call that a conclusion? Sex, really? If you are an angry reader you will finish each angry read down to its very last word, and you may well close the covers and toss the volume across the room, but you will do it with a great, secret frisson of satisfaction because it feels so good. You may be an aspiring, disgruntled novelist yourself.
Suggested angry reads: Fifty Shades of Grey or any much-celebrated novelist’s latest offering that’s bound to be arguably less than all the hype. Maybe you’re just pissed off that E L James made a $100m on the series. Don’t get angry; get even!
The ‘Must Follow In Order’ Reader. Slow and steady wins the race, dear reader. You are the tortoise to the promiscuous reader’s distracted-at-any-turn hare. You buy a book, you read it. You buy another, you read it. Perhaps you borrow a book at the library. You read it, and then you return it, and you get another, which you will read. You never read out of sequence. If you do discover an earlier book in the series, you become very distraught. Take a pill and chill is your best medicine.You might discard a book, but only if there is very good cause, and it will bring you a sense of deep unease, so you’ll probably pick it back up and finish it anyway. You are very good at puzzles, and the most reliable of all your friends.
Suggested Must Follow In Order reads: It doesn’t matter; you’ll get to them all, eventually.
The Book-Murderer. Yep you are a killer; of books at least. You love them but a little too much. Is your home strewn with books scattered about, this way and that, their pages turned, their covers folded over, their backs broken and their limbs splayed out on either side? You just want to hug the books, squeeze them tighter and tighter, you adore them so much, you really don’t know you’re hurting them. And then you’ve got a paperback with a huge chunk pulled out of it, or a first edition that’s suddenly waterlogged from bath water. You take your books out into the sun and their pages bleach away to nothing, but you keep them anyway, because they are books and you love books.
Suggested book-murderer reads: Whatever you like – seriously I don’t mind. Just buy a Kindle though.
Late Starter Reader. There are two types of you. You are without a doubt a book lover, and when you walk into a bookstore or any place books are available, you can’t help yourself, you buy one or many. When you get home you put them aside, often reverently, as if they were art, displaying them on a bookshelf or propping them up on your bedside table, pages ready to meet your eyes as soon as you have the moment. But you’re very, very busy, and days, weeks, or months may go by before you actually crack open one of these books. It’s not for lack of trying! When you finally do, you will be overjoyed by all the learning and emotional depth and humour and writing quality that exists in this book that’s been sitting within reach all along, and you will be amazed that you waited so long to ever open it.
The second Late Starter Reader. You are not a book lover. You buy books so you can show them off. If you are wealthy, you may have a mahogany-panelled library for expressly this purpose. Since you don’t waste time on books, we won’t waste time discussing you, but if you ever do pick up a book and read it and love it, you can consider yourself cured.
Suggested late starter reads: The Great Gatsby, Pride and Prejudice, The Hobbit, Gone With the Wind, A Wrinkle in Time, The Chronicles of Narnia.
The Bookophile. More than reading, you just love books. Old ones, the way they smell, the crinkles and yellowing of the pages; new ones, the way they smell, too, the crispness, running your hands over a stack of them at the bookstore. You like books rescued from the street as much as signed first editions; you like paperbacks, you like hardcover new releases, you like it all. You just like books. To you, they are an object of beauty, and you would never, ever hurt them in any way.
Suggested bookophile reads: Anything you can get your hands on. WOW! – that’s gorgeous, isn’t it?
The Anti-Reader. You are the book version of the person who claims “I never watch TV! I don’t even own one!” You never read books, because you find them too long. You consider blog posts too long as well. Unfortunately, you are the lady or man who doth protest too much, and you may instead have some deep insecurity about reading that led you to this book-flavourless existence. Pick up a book—a short one, say, start small—and open it, and let your eyes just rest on it for a few quiet moments. You may find yourself changed, because a life without reading is a sad one indeed.
Suggested anti-reader books: To get you started, try short reads, graphic novels, and comics as well as something on topics you’d normally enjoy watching on TV.
The Bedtime Reader. Do you feel the only time you have to read is when you’re about to go to sleep? You tote your book into bed with you and it’s so very comfortable and the book is so deliciously good, but you cannot keep your eyes open and end up waking up with a book on your face and your light still on at 3 a.m.? Tell no one; if you are lucky, there is no one there to witness your shame, save the characters with whom you are becoming quite close.
Suggested sleepy bedtime reads: Whatever you like, just sit in a chair—unless you like falling asleep with a book on your face.
What kind of reader are you? Let me know. Leave a comment belowShare