The Definitive Guide To Not Getting Murdered On The Tweed Coast - Best Mystery Books

The Definitive Guide To Not Getting Murdered On The Tweed Coast

Murder Towns are fictional. Fake news.

The Tweed Coast in northern New South Wales, Australia is one on the most scenic areas to visit and even better live. Gorgeous rolling green hills, inviting  flowing rivers and creeks and some of the State’s best beaches.

And of course there are the towns; the villages. Quaint, charming and they lure you in.

But all is not as inviting or peaceful as it appears on the surface.

Go behind the serene facades and  you might stumble upon lane ways of murder, houses of horror or killing fields of fetes. Yes fetes can be deadly!

Kingscliff, Cabarita Beach, Hastings Point, Pottsville and Banagalow will capture your breath and slow your heart; maybe enough to kill you.

C T Mitchell has discovered the seedy side of these Tweed Coast towns and encompassed them into his 30+ short reads; including 13 x #1 Amazon bestsellers. Are these towns the murder hot spots on the far north coast?

Mitchell is a fiction writer, thankfully. You shouldn’t be put off visiting the region or even thinking about living just because of his books BUT you should follow the guide: The Definitive Guide On How Not To Get Murdered On The Tweed Coast.

Murder towns are not easy to identify. The look like every other town. But once you know what to look for, they becomes easily identifiable.   Here’s some things to avoid:

Places

The village fete

Flowing green pastures. Merry go rounds, dodgem cars, slippery slides, pink lemonade, fairy floss and cupcakes.

Yes sweet innocent cupcakes along with cream filled sponges, slices and tarts. Such  delicious tasting morsels, light on the lips but heavy on the hips. Who could ever guess these little faces of innocence could be scheming, cruel murder weapons.

“Poisoning is not random. It’s personal” uttered by Lady Margaret Turnbull in Murder at the Fete

Don’t eat at a village fete…….or drink. (Sorry fete vendors.)

A church

A church should be a place for worship but not when Father Douglas id around.

Quiet, unassuming and a direct line to God, this vicar seems to deliver more funerals than Sunday sermons.

The village bakery

Enticing shops with tasty cakes, hot pies, spicy sausage rolls, cream buns, apple slices and so much more. Every village or town has a bakery; unfortunately some are deadlier than others.

Kate Mackenzie runs the Sugar N Spice bakery and caters to swank events in the region. But for how much longer, nobody really know. At all of her catering events, somebody drops dead. Her reputation is becoming deadly; her customers are facing ruin. Perhaps somebody is out to get her?

Basements

Charles Abernathy refurbished Barnesdale Manor to its former glory and thought a scavenger hunt would be a great way to introduce the grand lady to the nearby Bangalow public.

Until the guests ventured into the basement. Abernathy should have taken heed of what a mysterious letter sent to him warned.

Thankfully Detective Jack Creed in Dead Wrong is on the case.

Stay above ground even if you are an aspiring miner.

The village cemetery

Cemeteries might give you a historical picture of the town but everybody in one is dead. To stay alive, stay away. Get your history lesson from books. Lady Margaret Turnbull investigated Murder in the Cemetery……and fortunately survived.

People

The vicar

The seem harmless but some are magnets for murder. Father Douglas whose parish is at the picturesque Hastings Point, is one such magnet. For a one street village, an auto repair shop, a post office, general store and of course a church, Hastings Point has its larger share of murders.

Refuel at the local petrol station and leave fast. Keep your car doors locked and windows up.

Indian ‘Princesses’ in red sports cars

Selena Sharma is nice and friendly and is making Pottsville her new home. There is a large contingent of Indian residents in the town thanks to the local Charlton family and a dodgy investment group. She likes to speak in her native tongue but has no intentions to return to India.

She’s found some new spice in Pottsville by way of Detective Cameron Stewart. He’s a bit slow on the uptake but he’s a good detective; at least with Selena’s help. Murder by Butter Chicken is where they first met; a mild chicken curry dish best avoided in Pottsville.

The accountant

They love numbers. They love to count. But when local accountant turns up with all his fingers and toes broken in a dumpster at the back of the The Beach Hotel, Cabarita Beach, I’d suggest all visitors use a calculator to add up the bill at the pub.

Better still let Shirley ring up the bill on the register and just pay it without looking at the receipt. That way you won’t end up like the accountant in Dead Ringer.

CEO’s who golf.

Some golfers can stick to the fairway and not venture into the rough. Others are tempted to go off course, many times ending up on the beach.

Nic Turner was a strayer. He couldn’t stay the course. Eventually life caught up with him. In Dead Boss he ended up on Cabarita Beach, his head caved in with his Honma golf club.

The moral of this story. Don’t go to the beach with a driver; take a sand wedge. Better still don’t lead a double life and piss people off.

Be wary of old people

Villages are full of old people. They maybe difficult to avoid but you should be wary. Behind those wrinkles, streams of regret run deep. Secrets that have been buried for decades bubble away.

Don’t be the person who causes an internal explosion in a mild mannered pensioner and has them erupting into a  Mount Vesuvius murder machine.

Sam Thompson felt the burn of a ‘Vesuvius’ in Murder Secret. He lit the fire once too often.

Look out for cat lovers

Cats are selfish. They’re not like dogs who cuddle you, lick you and slobber in your car,. Hudson, Detective Stewart’s British bulldog slobbers.

Cats will rub up against you, curl into the small of your back and purr, but they usually want something. Their owners can be the same. Be cautious of cat owners; they might be amateur sleuths.

Miss Coco’s owner Taylor Mitchell, the village’s newspaper photographer, moonlights as a private detective in Complete Catastrophe.

If you don’t want to end up as the purrfect murder victim, avoid the ‘cat lady’ – she attracts murder.

Conclusion

Kingscliffe, Cabarita Beach, Hastings Point, Pottsville and Bangalow are great places to visit for those with heightened self awareness.

The towns are easy to enter but if you are a carefree, happy go lucky visitor you may never leave.

Thankfully C T Mitchell is a mystery FICTION author and he would recommend you visiting the area. Surely he’s not looking for book fodder?

Share
Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail